What If (S)he Doesn’t Pay Child Support?

So you’ve managed to make it through the divorce, get your life mostly back on track, and you’re finally realizing your potential as a self-actualized independent person. You’re not really on top of all the bills quite yet, but it’s just a matter of time at this point: your first and second jobs are both going well, and you’ve got a side hustle off the ground. The kids are spending a little more time with a babysitter than you’d prefer, but once your hustle takes off, you’ll be golden…and then a child support check is late. So late in fact that it never actually arrives.

What do you do? And what can you do to get the money you need to pay the babysitter out of your delinquent ex? Well, we can’t really offer you a lot of advice on how to scrape by without the money — our focus is more on that second question. So let’s get real about the threats you can level at your ex to get the money you need.

The “Being a Good Person” Argument
Before you do any threatening of punishment, you should begin with the most fundamental plea: the “you’re a parent” tactic. Children need a lot of financial support, and their needs only ever increase as they get older. If they’re failing to stand up to their obligation as a parent already, what do they think is going to happen in five years? Or ten? Do they expect to have any presence in the life they helped create?

The “Being a Good Parent” Argument
This one requires a little bit more planning on your part; it revolves around the fact that the most common reason people stop paying child support is that they believe you’re not actually spending the money on their child. What you have to do is keep records of what exactly you can’t pay due to the lack of child support. And don’t make the claim that it’s basics like food — make it hurt by showing them that the child you share is missing out on things they genuinely love, like soccer or tae kwon do or cooking classes. Take pictures of the kid visibly upset.

If It Comes Down to Legal Threats
Your best course of action is to write a registered letter to the Friend of the Court and inform them that your ex is failing to pay, and request that they inform your ex of the potential punishments that await. That kind of threat has so much more weight when it comes from a governmental agency! But if you feel the need to lay out the threats yourself, you can tell them that they’re risking:

• Wage garnishment,
• Federal tax refund withholding,
• Seizure of property, and ultimately,
• Suspension of their driver’s license, business license, and any occupational licenses they hold.

Just keep in mind as you threaten that none of this will happen until you report the lack of payment to the Friend of the Court and use their channels to get in front of a judge to ask for enforcement — so don’t go making these threats until you’ve already started that process, or you’re just blowing smoke. Don’t waste your time; get the ball rolling and then tell them what’s coming their way. That’ll make them a lot less likely to fail again.