The holidays come with a lot of pressure to experience the joy of family togetherness, but what if your family has changed?
The first holiday season after a divorce can spur feelings of grief and anger. You may feel discouraged and overwhelmed. If you’re a parent, the holidays can be even more taxing, especially if communications with your ex are contentious.
What can you do to deal with heightened emotions, added stress, and logistical challenges during your first holiday season post-divorce?
Create a Schedule
When you feel a loss of control over your situation, setting expectations is a good way to combat stress and anxiety. If you’re up to it, plan to attend a few parties or events to get in the holiday spirit. You might even host your own potluck to connect with loved ones and fill your house with joy.
If you have joint custody, make sure the schedule for exchanges and holiday events is locked in well in advance. This will help your kids feel comfortable and secure, especially since they’ll be coping with their first holiday split between two households.
Try to Remain Flexible
The holiday season isn’t just about gifts and get-togethers. It’s also flu season, which means that illness can derail even the best laid plans, particularly if you have kids bringing home every cough and cold that spreads through school.
Try to recognize when your social-emotional battery is running low, and don’t risk your well-being to attend an event. The people who love you will understand and give you space, or they might show up with take-out to watch holiday movies when you need support.
Be Kind to Yourself
Even if you were ready to exit your marriage, the pressures and expectations of the holidays can be challenging when you’re freshly divorced.
For example, extended family members who haven’t seen you in a while may ask invasive questions and offer their unwanted opinions. Uncomfortable interactions and negative emotions are often heightened during the high-stress holiday season.
Try to find ways to pamper yourself during this time, whether you hit the spa for a massage, plan a getaway, or simply relax at home with a merry fire, some holiday tunes, and a cup of eggnog.
Talk to Someone
A strong support network will help you through the tough times, both during and after divorce.
Maybe you’re facing a holiday without your kids or dealing with a demanding ex. Perhaps you’re battling loneliness during your first holiday season in years without a romantic partner. Regardless, the people who love and support you will bolster your fortitude during this challenging time.
If you’re feeling down or struggling with stress and anxiety, seek comfort with supportive family and friends. You can also work with a professional therapist to develop coping skills, learn tips for regulating your emotions, and make a plan to enjoy the holidays.
Lean on Legal Support
You can approach the holidays with a light heart, even after a divorce. If your ex is a source of strife when it comes to creating happy memories for your kids, the caring and experienced team at Gucciardo Family Law can help. Contact us today to discuss your child custody concerns.
