Few things are as devastating as losing custody of your children. It takes hard work, and more often than not, a transformation, but regaining custody is possible.
However, you shouldn’t rush out and immediately try to regain custody as soon as you lose it. Family courts generally don’t take custody away without a valid reason, and getting it back can take time and effort.
There’s no way to completely guarantee that you’ll be able to get custody back. But by taking a careful, strategic approach, you can significantly increase your chances.
Tips and Strategies for Regaining Custody
If you’ve lost custody of your child, getting in touch with your family lawyer is important. Our team can offer guidance tailored to you and your situation, and the sooner you reach out, the better. However, it might be helpful to start by considering some general strategies as well.
First, Understand the Problem
When they lose custody, many parents are understandably hurt and angry. They may blame the court for making an unfair or biased decision. As a result, they might be so focused on that anger that they never end up making any positive changes in their own lives.
If you’re committed to regaining custody of your child, it’s necessary to fully understand the court’s reasoning and then start thinking about the changes you’ll need to make. This kind of reflection can be difficult and painful at first, but if you stay the course, you can improve your own life and that of your child.
Make Sure You Follow Existing Court Orders
If you don’t agree with the current custody order, it might be tempting to disobey its terms. This isn’t a good idea. Always pay child support if ordered, and make sure you’re on time for drop-offs and pick-ups.
Some people see disobeying custody terms or inconveniencing the other parent as a way to get back at the court or the other parent. However, this will only harm your credibility with both the friend of the court (FOC) and the judge in your case.
Even if the current custody arrangement isn’t fair, the best way to fight it is through the court system with the help of a lawyer, not by refusing to follow the order.
Treat Communications With the Other Parent as Future Evidence
If you come across as angry, unstable, or dysfunctional when talking to the child’s other parent, the court may be less likely to give you custody again. Even if you’re frustrated with the situation, you should always remain polite, calm, and communicative with the other parent. Keep your communications focused on the children.
The bottom line is to treat every phone call and text message like it will one day be shown to a judge in a courtroom.
It’s also important to avoid bad-mouthing the other parent to your child. The court may see this as an attempt to sabotage your child’s relationship with the other parent, and that can significantly damage your case.
Complete All Court-Ordered or Recommended Classes
Depending on the circumstances that caused you to lose custody, the court might order you to complete one or more classes or programs, including:
- Treatment for substance use disorders
- Parenting classes
- Anger management courses
You should complete court-ordered programs as soon as reasonably possible. However, even if the court hasn’t ordered you to complete any kind of treatment or training, taking proactive steps to do it yourself shows that you’re serious about becoming a better parent.
Keep a Log of Your Parenting Time
If you’re still allowed some parenting time or visitation, keep an ongoing log of your involvement in your child’s life. If you can show the court that you truly want to be part of your child’s upbringing and you aren’t just focused on getting custody back, the FOC and judge may be more likely to reinstate custody.
Be Aware of the Court’s “Best Interest of the Child” Standards
Many parents believe they should be entitled to 50/50 custody by default. However, while Michigan family courts may take parents’ feelings into account, their primary focus is on the child’s best interests.
This means the court probably won’t make a custody change unless it determines that the change would be the best thing for the child. These are the key factors the court weighs while making that decision:
- The emotional connection between parents and child
- The capacity or inclination of parents to provide love and guidance
- The ability of both parents to provide medical care, food, clothing, and other essentials
- How long the child has been in a stable environment (and whether it’s best for them to stay there)
- The permanence of each parent’s current family unit
- Each parent’s moral fitness
- Each parent’s mental and physical health
- The child’s home, school, and community record
- The child’s preference (if the child is old enough for the court to consider it)
- Each parent’s willingness and ability to encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent
- Whether either parent has been guilty of domestic violence
- Anything else the court considers important
As you work to regain custody, make sure you’re focusing on what’s best for your child.
Give the Court a Reason to Reconsider Your Case
Michigan family courts won’t revisit custody cases just because someone tells them to. Otherwise, children’s lives could be needlessly and repeatedly disrupted. State statutes only allow the court to revisit a custody case if the person requesting a review provides clear proof of one of the following:
- Proper cause
- Change in circumstances
“Proper cause” usually comes into play when one parent believes the other parent is doing something that negatively impacts the child’s life in a major way. For instance, if your child lives with your ex and your ex has started using illegal substances, you could likely demonstrate proper cause.
If you’re trying to regain custody, you’ll most likely need to show a change in circumstances. This is a major change that happened after the last custody order was entered. If you’re trying to get custody back, you might be able to demonstrate a change in circumstances that looks like one of the following:
- You lived in an unstable home environment before, but you now have a stable home where your children can safely live
- You had a serious substance use issue but have now been sober for two years
- You’ve completed parenting or anger management classes
Keep in mind that the ability to demonstrate a change in circumstances is a threshold, not a guarantee. If the court sees that your circumstances have changed for the better, it may revisit your case. However, there’s a chance that it will decline to modify the current custody order.
Understand the Concept of the Established Custodial Environment
In Michigan custody cases, the concept of the established custodial environment (ECE) is a critical one. Family courts try not to cause unnecessary disruption to the child’s life, so before evaluating the specifics of your case, they’ll try to determine whether your child is currently in an ECE.
An ECE is a home where a child is given love, guidance, discipline, and necessities, usually for an extended period of time. If the court says your child is currently in an ECE, regaining custody will be more difficult.
If you want to get custody back, you must provide clear, convincing evidence that the change you’re proposing is in the child’s best interests.
However, if your child isn’t in an ECE, you just need to show a preponderance of evidence that your proposed custody arrangement will benefit your child.
If you’re not already very familiar with the Michigan family court system, it can be very difficult to know whether you have sufficient evidence or not. Your legal team can discuss your situation with you and give you an idea of whether you have a strong case.
Consider Requesting a Psychological Assessment or In-Home Evaluation
In some custody cases, the court will require you to have a home visit or undergo a psychological assessment. Even if it doesn’t, you may want to consider asking for one. If a professional assesses you or your home (or both) and determines that you’d be a fit parent, that may make the court more likely to give you custody again.
It’s worth noting that you should only take this step if you’ve made genuine, positive changes. If nothing has changed since you lost custody, seeking out a professional evaluation to show the court could backfire.
Understanding the Legal Process to Regain Custody
If you’re serious about regaining custody of your child, one of the most important steps you can take is choosing an experienced family lawyer. Your attorney can help you create a plan and petition the court for a change. Here’s a look at how the legal process of regaining custody generally works.
Filing a Motion With the Court
If you lost custody during a divorce or child custody case, you will need to file a motion regarding custody (form FOC 87) with the same division of the court that issued the original custody order. You will also need to have the motion served to the other parent and show the court proof of service.
However, if you lost custody because of an intervention by Children’s Protective Services, you may need to follow a different procedure to get custody back. Your lawyer can help you navigate the process.
Attend a Hearing or Mediation
If the court agrees to revisit your case, it may set a date for a hearing. On this date, both parents appear in court and may present evidence or arguments. Sometimes, the court may decide that mediation is a better option.
Mediation is less formal than a courtroom proceeding, and it encourages both parents to come to an agreement. During mediation, you and the other parent sit down with a trained, impartial third party who facilitates discussion.
The mediator will usually try to help you work toward an agreement. If you and the other parent can’t agree on an arrangement, the court may need to make the decision.
Undergo a Custody Investigation
In some cases, the FOC or judge will want to conduct a custody investigation or a custody evaluation. The investigation usually involves the following steps:
- The FOC asks you to complete written questionnaires
- An investigator conducts an interview
- The investigator visits and evaluates your home
- The investigator may talk to doctors, counselors, or other people in your life
- Depending on your child’s age and maturity, the investigator may talk to them as well
Cooperation with each stage of the investigation is crucial. If you seem closed off or reluctant, the judge or FOC might think you have something to hide.
Wait for the Court’s Decision
The investigator isn’t the one who directly decides whether you will regain custody or not. Once their investigation is complete, they will submit a report and their recommendations to the court.
In Michigan family courts, the FOC will usually make what is called a “recommended order” for a custody decision. If you disagree, you must file an objection within 21 days. The objection triggers a court hearing where both sides may show up and argue their respective cases.
If the FOC makes a recommended order and neither party objects within the standard 21-day window, the judge will most likely make the FOC’s recommended order a final order.
Need Help Regaining Custody?
When you’ve lost custody and are trying to gain it back, it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world. When you have the help of an experienced family lawyer, you can move through this challenging process with more confidence.
At The Gucciardo Law Firm, we know that family law cases are uniquely personal and often painful. We aim to help our clients find meaningful solutions while handling each case with the care and sensitivity it deserves. Get in touch with us today to see how we can help.
