How to Manage High-Conflict Custody Disputes: Tips for Michigan Parents

When you have children, your ex will never be completely out of your life. Some couples can put their differences aside and co-parent effectively. If you and your ex don’t fall into that category, you’re not alone. There are many legitimate reasons why custody agreements can turn into high-conflict disputes.

If you’re co-parenting with a toxic ex, you may be tempted to compromise just to try to keep the peace. However, that course of action can be a mistake.

What Classifies as High Conflict?

“High-conflict” isn’t a legal term, but most custody cases that are slowed by multiple disagreements and unrealistic demands would fit the description. Some hallmarks of a high-conflict custody battle include:

• One or both parents are seeking (or have sought) a protective order
• There are claims of domestic violence
• There are claims of child abuse
• Police have been involved in parenting drop-offs or pickups
• There have been wellness checks at one or both parents’ homes
• One or both parents have called Michigan Children’s Protective Services

When things escalate to the point where law enforcement or CPS must intervene, working out an amicable custody agreement is no longer possible. At that point, the situation is considered high-conflict.

3 Tips for Managing a High-Conflict Custody Case

The first step in coping with a contentious or dangerous ex is to hire an experienced attorney. A family law firm that understands Michigan law and has represented hundreds or thousands of parents in custody cases is someone you can trust to help you through this process.

1. Listen to Your Attorney

High-conflict custody cases are emotionally draining. Now is the time to listen to your attorney and take their advice. Breaching any agreements that are already in place could make reaching a custody agreement more difficult.

A seasoned family law attorney may ask you to focus on the big picture instead of small battles. Your goal is to protect your children, and your attorney knows how to help you do that.

2. Avoid Overreaction

Don’t feed the fire by losing your temper or instantly assuming the worst with every small inconvenience. Refrain from leaving angry messages to your ex, their counsel, their family members, or anyone else who may be involved.

For one thing, this kind of emotional response makes it more difficult to communicate with your ex. For another, the trail of angry texts or voicemails you leave behind could be used as evidence against you in a custody case.

3. Stay Focused on the Future

Things won’t always be so stressful. Living in a constant state of high conflict is an emotional and financial burden. Remind yourself that it’s only a temporary situation. Focusing on the best interests of your children and your own well-being will help you maintain balance during this difficult time.

Gucciardo Family Law Can Help

We understand that staying calm and taking good advice is easier said than done. However, in situations of high conflict, someone needs to take the high road. If not, the conflict will only last longer.

It’s important to remember, though, that taking the high road doesn’t mean giving in to unreasonable demands or putting your children in unsafe situations. Gucciardo Family Law attorneys will fight to protect your family and make sure custody agreements are fair, reasonable, and safe. Call Gucciardo Family Law today for more information.