Co-Parenting After Divorce: 9 Steps You Can Take to Make It Easier

Co-parenting can be a challenge after any divorce, whether due to logistics or contention. But how you manage co-parenting can significantly affect your children, both now and in the long term. Fortunately, with the right approach, you can ensure this impact is positive for everyone involved.

So how do you make co-parenting work in Michigan? Here are nine key steps to take.

Step 1: Come Up With a Parenting Plan

Start with a solid parenting plan. Write down the essentials, such as custody schedules, holiday arrangements, education decisions, and healthcare choices. Having this important information written down can prevent future arguments.

Step 2: Treat Co-Parenting Like a Business Relationship

Successful co-parents often maintain a professional relationship. They keep communication straightforward, stick to facts, and focus on raising their kids. When emotions start creeping in, they step back and remember to conduct co-parenting as they would any other business relationship.

Step 3: Fall Back on Written Communication

Text or email can work better than talking for many co-parents. You can think before you respond, and you have a record of what was agreed. It may also be more difficult to get pulled into arguments when you’re writing instead of talking.

Step 4: Create Clear Boundaries

Your previous relationship with your spouse might have been primarily centered on your marriage, but your new one is about the kids. Successful co-parents typically don’t discuss their personal lives unless it affects the children, and they don’t try to control what happens at the other parent’s house unless it’s harmful.

Step 5: Keep Rules Consistent

Kids need consistency, so if bedtime is 8:30 p.m. at one house, it should be close to that at the other. If there are consequences for lying at Mom’s house, there should be similar ones at Dad’s. This creates stability for your children.

Step 6: Make Decisions Together

Important decisions like school, health, and religion require joint discussion. Both parents should focus on bringing options to the table, not problems. For instance, instead of saying, “I don’t like how you handle homework,” try an approach like, “Here are two ways we could handle homework. Which do you think would work better?”

Step 7: Be Flexible

Even the best plans can need adjustments from time to time. Maybe your ex needs to switch weekends due to a business trip, or maybe your child’s activities don’t fit perfectly with the custody schedule. Being flexible can help keep the process as a whole smoother and more pleasant for all parties.

Step 8: Focus on What Matters

It’s easy to get caught up in contention over minor issues while co-parenting. A good rule of thumb in these situations is to consider whether the current conflict will matter in five years. If it won’t, see if you can let the issue go or work toward a compromise.

Step 9: Get Help

An outside perspective can be invaluable. For example, a therapist can give you tools for managing emotions, while a lawyer can ensure you create plans that protect the best interests of you and your children. Using these resources isn’t a sign of failure; it’s smart parenting.

Learn More About Successful Co-Parenting in Michigan

No matter the circumstances of your divorce in Michigan, co-parenting successfully is possible with the right strategies. At Gucciardo Family Law, we can help you build a plan that works for your family’s unique needs and help make the process as seamless as possible. Contact us to schedule a consultation today.