Divorce Effects Grandparents, Too
Families are more tightly connected than many of us give them credit for. The first time you glance down at your newborn grandchild, you’ll know a love that will change your life — different than the love you have for your son or daughter, but nevertheless powerful and resounding. But what happens if your child and child-in-law end up getting a divorce?
All too often, if the in-law gets custody of the child, you may find that you unexpectedly end up without your grandchild in your life, through no fault of your own. Of course, that’s not a given — it is possible to remain in touch with and even love your grandchild’s ‘other’ parent (and their immediate family, too.) But it requires all involved to recognize that everyone will be better off — especially the child — if the relatives all get to play a part in the child’s life.
In Ireland, a recent study noted that there are a goodly number of ‘high-support grandparents’ that maintained an active role in their grandchild’s life even after their child lost custody — and that these grandparents had healthy, well-connected relationships with their grandchildren. They were found to offer support like:
- Child care
- Housing
- Financial
- Legal
- Guidance and Emotional Support
And that these acted as a stabilizing force as the child went through the turbulence of the parents’ divorce. In addition, many of the grandparents who supported their grandchild also kept in touch with and frequently connected to ‘the ex,’ acting as peacemaker.
With modern technology like Skype, FaceTime, Facebook, and even ‘simple’ email and Twitter, it’s becoming not just possible but normal for grandparents to keep in touch with their relatives even if they can’t easily travel. There’s no reason to lose touch with your grandchildren even if they’re with the other parent for the entire summer or beyond — all you need is the will and the love to make the best of an awkward situation.
Too much information?
We focus exclusively on family law matters so we are always available to answer your questions and help.
Leave a Reply