Put an End to the Abuse

Simply put, some people hurt the ones they love. The reasons why vary widely, as do the forms that the abuse takes, but all abuse is unacceptable. Abuse is defined, broadly, as: “Any behavior that is exceptionally jealous, possessive, critical, isolating, threatening, controlling, or violent.”

Abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or any other social categorization. Abuse is far more rampant than most people believe, with several studies showing rates of more than one in three relationships having emotionally abusive incidents or elements, and three in ten having physically abusive incidents or elements.

Uncommon Abuse is Harder to Handle
By far, the most common direction for abuse to travel between adults is from men to women — just over nine in ten abusive incidents are of that type — but female-to-male abuse is very real. Similarly, between age groups, it’s by far most common to see adults abusing children, but there have been a number of proven cases of children — mostly teenagers — abusing their parents to the point of almost complete domination. These kinds of ‘uncommon abuse’ are much more difficult to escape, simply because the resources that exist are all geared toward the more common themes. Even socially, it’s very hard for an abused husband or abused parent to come forward and be taken seriously.

The Police Should Be the First Resort
Nationwide, police forces have spent a lot of time and money training their officers to deal appropriately with domestic abuse cases. The emphasis has been on integrating victims’ services with the standard police protocol so that the victim can better obtain access to shelters, medical assistance, legal aid, and more. Even with those protocols in place, however, most domestic abuse victims don’t call the police until thirty or more incidents have taken place — and in nineteen out of twenty domestic homicides, it’s only after someone has died that the police get involved at all.

Divorce as an Escape Route
One of the most significant barriers to escaping an abusive relationship is the skill of an abuser to control your life. They might encourage their spouse to stay home and care for the kids, only to use money as leverage over the other spouse once they’ve been out of the workforce for long enough to have a hard time re-entering. In cases like this, a divorce — complete with enforced alimony — might be enough of a safety net to allow the abused spouse to make a break for it. This is especially important if there are children in the relationship that need to be moved away from an abusive parent.

If you’re in an abusive marriage and you need assistance arranging a divorce that can help you reach a safer place, call Gucciardo Law at (248) 723-5190 immediately — or the moment it’s safe to do so.