Top Tips When Talking to Young Children About Divorce

Divorce is a challenging process for any adult. Even if you’re ready to call it quits, you may still struggle with grief, disappointment, guilt, and anger over the loss of your relationship, not to mention the stressful logistics of splitting up your home and family.

One of the most difficult aspects of divorce for parents is telling their children, and it can be particularly hard to explain the situation to young children. For divorcing parents, knowing how to approach the conversation prepared with the best strategies to support your kids is important.

Present a United Front

If possible, parents should discuss strategies beforehand and break the news to kids together. Decide what is appropriate to tell them and what information is too adult for them to hear and understand.

In any case, you’ll want to make sure your kids know unequivocally that the divorce is not their fault. Tell them you both love them and that your feelings for them won’t change. Be careful not to make promises that you may not be able to keep.

Be Honest and Age-Appropriate

Things happen in adult relationships that young kids don’t have the knowledge, experience, or mental and emotional development to understand. For this reason, it’s helpful to keep your discussion of divorce relatively simple.

Don’t get into the details of why you’re splitting up. Your kids don’t need to know the ins and outs of adult relationship matters. It’s enough to say that you tried very hard, but you just can’t live together happily anymore.

Avoid placing blame. Children deserve to maintain loving and trusting relationships with both parents, provided there is nothing illegal like abuse happening.

If you can, answer their questions about logistics. Kids like to know what’s coming so that they don’t feel blindsided, especially during the instability of divorce. Make sure to let them know what their future living situation might look like.

Validate Their Feelings

Perhaps the most important part of telling young children about divorce is to create a safe space for them to talk about their feelings. They may feel sad, hurt, angry, guilty, anxious, or all of these things.

Encourage them to talk about their feelings without telling them how they should feel. Be aware of your own emotions, and try to keep the conversation centered on your kids and their needs.

You’re there to support them, and while it’s okay to discuss everyone’s feelings, you never want to create a situation where your kids feel like they need to help you.

Ask for Help

In addition to discussing divorce with your kids, talk to other key adults in their lives to make sure you’re all on the same page when it comes to supporting them. You may want to speak with a child psychologist who can help children cope with the grief and instability of divorce, as well as assist parents in understanding how best to support kids through a divorce and after.

Turn to Gucciardo Family Law for Skilled Legal Support

When parents align to have an honest and age-appropriate conversation about divorce and provide space for kids to discuss their emotions, children can have the best chance to accept the situation and move forward feeling secure, supported, and loved.

Are you struggling to navigate the complex process of divorce and child custody? The caring and capable team at Gucciardo Family Law can help. Contact us now to schedule a free initial consultation and find out how we can safeguard your family’s future.