What You Shouldn’t Say to Your Kids During a Divorce

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. When you separate from your spouse, even if it’s your decision, you may naturally struggle with emotional issues and the financial difficulties of separation.

Kids can also suffer immensely from a situation they have no control over. As a parent, you want to do all you can to protect your children from any hardship, but this can be difficult when dealing with significant challenges yourself.

You may say things to your children out of anger, sadness, or frustration that you would never normally say. You need to be especially aware of this and avoid saying things that will only hurt your kids more. What types of harmful things should you avoid saying to kids during divorce?

Never Blame Children

It’s not unusual for kids to feel like they played some role in a divorce. They might mistakenly believe their parents may have stayed together if they’d only been better behaved.

These thoughts can be incredibly harmful, potentially leading to negative emotions like guilt, anger, anxiety, depression, and loss of self-confidence, not to mention acting out. You must never make children feel like a divorce was their fault, and if you discover or suspect they feel responsible for the divorce, you need to tell them they are not to blame.

Don’t Criticize Your Ex

You should never speak ill of your ex-spouse in front of your children. First and foremost, you shouldn’t let your feelings impact how your kids feel about their other parent. They don’t have the same relationship with your ex that you do, and an inept spouse can still be a great parent.

In most cases, having close relationships with both parents is in children’s best interests. You don’t want to interfere with that because you have negative feelings toward your ex. In addition, a judge may not look kindly on you criticizing your children’s other parent in front of them, and it could impact your bid for child custody.

Keep Financial Details to Yourself

While it is wise to teach your kids about finances as they grow to adulthood, they don’t need to know that you’re struggling financially because of a divorce. Likewise, they do not need to know that you and your ex-spouse are fighting over assets, alimony, and child support. These are adult matters that most kids are not equipped to understand. Kids should never be dragged into financial disputes between parents.

Avoid Treating Kids Like Adults

Your children are not your emotional support. Do not speak with your children about adult matters or treat them like your therapist. They are already suffering from the heavy emotions that accompany watching their parents divorce and split one home into two. Don’t add to their burden by piling on your own emotions.

Get Legal Advice

If you’re struggling with how to make the divorce process as easy as possible for your kids, you might consider consulting with a child psychologist versed in the impact of divorce. You should also get legal advice to make sure you don’t say or do anything that could harm your children and hurt your chances of gaining custody.

Are you going through a child custody battle? Contact the experienced team at Gucciardo Family Law now to secure the legal support you need.