Why It’s Important to Set Boundaries During Your Michigan Divorce

While it’s important to set boundaries in any relationship, be it with family, friends, or co-workers, a marriage is a uniquely intimate relationship in which many physical, social, and emotional boundaries are removed.  When a couple decides to divorce, however, interactions that were perfectly natural between partners become unacceptable, and you need to create new rules and boundaries to ensure a smooth transition to a new relationship.

Whether you remain connected by children, joint property, or a business, for example, you may have to remain in contact with your ex.  Just as you no longer live together or share romantic relations, it’s important to understand that it’s no longer appropriate to communicate in intimate ways or rely on each other for emotional support as you did when you were married.

Persisting in these behaviors during and after divorce will only draw out the difficulties of separating your lives and prevent you from moving on.  Here are a few reasons why it’s so important to set clear boundaries and follow them during and after your Michigan divorce.

How to Treat Your Ex

We all get used to interacting with people in certain ways, and the familiarity between spouses is a bond that can be hard to break, even during divorce.  If you’re struggling to figure out how to treat your soon-to-be-ex spouse, a good rule of thumb is to set boundaries similar to those found in an office or other work setting.

You wouldn’t kiss your co-workers, show up at their homes unannounced, or unload your deepest emotions or problems on them.  This behavior simply isn’t appropriate for professional relationships.  If your behavior isn’t suitable for the office setting, the simple rule of thumb is that it isn’t appropriate with your ex-spouse.

At least this gives you a starting point to start creating new boundaries moving forward.  When the divorce is final, some time has passed, and emotions have calmed, you may be able to forge a friendship with your ex, but in the beginning, a hands-off approach is best.

Try to Separate as Much as Possible

Divorce is a complex process that involves splitting one household and set of finances into two.  If your divorce is relatively amicable and/or you have children that you are co-parenting, you may be tempted to keep assets like a home, bank accounts, or credit cards in both of your names, but this is a major no-no.  It could lead to all kinds of problems down the line.

During a divorce, a clean division of assets is best.  If you want to give your ex-spouse extra money for the household or children following divorce, that’s your prerogative, but don’t keep your finances entangled.  Need a reason why?

Consider what might happen if you start dating someone new.  Not only could a jealous ex cause major financial problems by running up a credit card or emptying a bank account, but a new romantic interest may be understandably concerned about lingering financial ties to your ex.

Talking to Family and Friends

You may also need to set boundaries within your support group, including family and friends who want to offer helpful advice and support, but you may end up doing more harm than good.  The only person you should listen to is your impartial attorney, who has your best legal interests at heart.

If you need help navigating the divorce process and learning to set suitable boundaries, contact The Gucciardo Law Firm today at 248-723-5190 or online to schedule a free consultation and get started.