Michigan Divorce and Custody…of the Family Pet

A fairly outstanding 62% of all married couples own a pet together, and while the law regards pets as a kind of property, quite often the couple that owns the critter has a very different (and quite passionate) view of the pet’s personhood. If they both love the animal — especially if they have no children or other pets — the question of who gets custody can be every bit as contentious as it can with children. The courts, meanwhile, have no laws to guide them when it comes to pets.

That means that according to the Michigan family courts, “pet custody” is meaningless. Under the law, arranging a custody plan for a pet would be just as sensible as arranging a custody plan for a blender. Pets are property, and property is divided exactly one time, with exactly one spouse getting ownership of each bit of property. As Cook County judge Charles E. Porcellino put it: “Go out and buy another dog…to take up a judge’s time when there are children to be cared for and support to be enforced, don’t ever bring a stupid issue like that before me.”

Love Conquers…Some?
That said, there are precedents being set by other judges for the process of pet custody.

Pratt v. Pratt , held that a court can take into account the past mistreatment of dogs when determining where they should end up. In Vargas v. Vargas , a divorce judge awarded a dog to the wife due to dangerous circumstances at the husband’s residence, even though the dog was registered with the American Kennel Club under the husband’s name. Juelfs v. Gough  involved the creation and application of a shared custody and visitation schedule for a dog. And in all of this, a group called the Animal Legal Defense Fund regularly publishes papers encouraging courts to treat pets with the same “best interest” standard that children are given.

Sidenote: It’s Actually Almost Entirely Dogs
For the curious, about 88% of pet custody cases are over dogs, and around 5% are over cats. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers has also reported pet custody cases involving more exotic pets including hoses, parrots, turtles, snakes, iguanas, and more.

How NOT To Treat Your Pet During a Divorce
Speaking of the AAML, its President, Maria Cognetti, believes that “far too many spouses attempt to initiate [pet custody] disputes as a negotiating strategy, often believing that they can use the animal as a kind of bargaining chip.” This is not only what experts commonly refer to as a ‘dick move,’ it’s also a dangerous gambit. If you end up standing in front of a lawyer like Judge Porcellino, above, you might get leverage, but you also won’t see your pet again. If you end up actually getting a joint-pet-custody arrangement, you probably won’t get the leverage you’re seeking.

It’s better for everyone involved if you find out in advance what the judge ruling over your divorce thinks of the pet custody idea, and if they intend to follow the law strictly, follow Porcellino’s advice. Have one person keep the pet, and the other commit to a new one. No matter how much you love them, pets are not children, and while they might miss you when you’re gone, they won’t suffer the way a child would. And let’s all be grateful for that!