Putting Kids First: How to Divide Time With Children over the Holidays

It’s hard enough trying to work out the day-to-day arrangements with children following divorce. Some families settle on one week with one spouse, the next with the other. Some families go for a mid-week split, or divide up weekdays and weekends. There are instances of joint custody, sole custody, visitation, and all kinds of other custody agreements.

Once you’ve got the everyday details nailed down, though, you have to think about special days that both parents want to participate in. We’re not just talking about times of personal significance like birthdays, but also holidays.

Who get the kids for Christmas and Easter or Hanukkah and Passover? Who gets them on Thanksgiving, New Year’s, and the 4th of July, or other important holidays? How can you put the needs of your kids first when deciding how to divide them up for these special occasions?

Can you and your ex-spouse temper your own expectations and do what’s right for your children? Here are a few tips to help you determine the best way to split up holidays with kids after divorce.

Don’t Ask Your Kids
This is a common mistake. It’s natural to want to make your kids happy, but in certain situations, you should not involve them in the decision-making process.

If you and your ex-spouse feel stressed out about making such arrangements as adults, can you even imagine the pressure you’ll place on your kids to make the decision for you? No matter who they choose, they’re going to disappoint someone. It’s too great a burden to place on your children.

Whatever decision you make, your children will simply have to go along with it. If you and your ex-spouse are trying to act in the best interest of your kids, you’ll come up with the solution that is least stressful for them.

Split Days
If both parents celebrate the same holidays, they may simply split days down the middle, as in kids wake up Christmas morning with mom and then spend the afternoon and evening at dad’s house, just for example. For divorced parents that live in close proximity, this is a reasonable solution.

Alternate Holidays
For parents that want to avoid as much disruption as possible, alternating holidays is often a wise solution to a complex problem. Parents decide which holidays are special to them both and then alternate who gets the kids.

Come Together
Incredibly, some divorces are amicable enough that parents can actually come together to celebrate holidays as a family with their kids, in a manner of speaking. This can be a difficult situation emotionally, and it becomes even more complicated when new spouses and siblings enter the picture.

This solution isn’t right for every family, and even some well-intentioned parents simply can’t pull it off, even for the sake of their children. Ultimately, you need to find the solution that works for your particular situation.

The family law attorneys at The Gucciardo Law Firm can help you to overcome disputes involving child custody. Call us today at (248) 723-5190 for help in reaching a productive agreement where children are involved.