Elderly and Getting Divorced?
Most often, when we think of divorce, we think of younger couples — no older than, say, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. But the fact is that marriages can and do come apart at any time, at any age. It doesn’t matter if you were married at 66 and divorced at 72, or married at 17 and divorced at 77 — one of the fundamental truths of human life is that change is the only constant. However, age can have a significant effect on how a divorce plays out.
For example, a couple that divorces at age 30 often has children and career and a mortgage to deal with as part of the divorce. A couple that divorces at 70 often has none of those things — but they do have a list of their own issues to deal with, like:
- Social Security benefits,
- Disability benefits,
- Estate planning and trusts,
- Life insurance and pension benefits,
- Looming or current dementia,
- Support of adult children,
- Support from adult children,
- And more.
Divorce has a meaningful impact on the emotional and financial well-being of both participants, and doubly so when the participants are older — but also on the children…doubly so, counter-intuitively, when the children are older. That’s because of two essential issues.
Caretaking
The first issue is simple: if elderly parents divorce, it instantly doubles the caretaking load for an adult child who is looking out for them. If there are multiple children, they might well choose to split the job — one child per parent — but that causes its own kinds of stress and anxiety as each parent feels much more connected to one child than the other. In the worst case scenario, the child who choose to look after the less-wealthy parent can feel like they are getting the short end of the stick — and so can the child who chose to look after the less-healthy parent. If those happen to be the same parent, trouble is all but guaranteed.
Children from Previous Marriages
Startlingly common among today’s elderly: divorcing from a 2nd, 3rd, or 6th marriage while well into retirement. This can cause all of the same problems mentioned above, but is even further complicated when children from a previous marriage come into the divorce equation bringing their own independent set of agendas and ideas with them. The stress and enmity that can be caused by a ‘normal’ divorce is staggering enough; adding 2-3 more families with their own wants and needs to the picture can cause emotional tolls that last for decades — across all generations involved.
Getting divorced late in life is an expensive proposition in money, time, and stress — if it’s going to happen, it had better be gotten into with the best possible representation on all sides. Call Gucciardo Family Law today — 248-723-5190 — and let us help.
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