The Three Phases of a Modern Divorce

Divorce is a large, scary subject that intimidates most people who have to experience it. But while every divorce is complicated and some are downright frightening, it’s often more a matter of facing the unknown than anything else. So we at Gucciardo Family Law thought it might help if we offered a short summary of the divorce process at a glance.

Divorce consists of three phases:

• Separation of assets,
• Determining the future of any children affected by the divorce, and
• Finalizing the legal status of the divorcees.

Separation of Assets
The Separation of Assets phase, in turn, consists of three subphases: discovery, negotiation, and finalization. During the discovery phase, each side investigates the other’s financial disposition. This is the time when the most shenanigans occur, as those who believe they can get away with it will attempt to hide assets, pin liabilities on the other party, or otherwise attempt to manipulate the system in order to walk away with more than their equitable share of the assets.

The negotiation phase begins once each side is satisfied that they understand the other’s financial situation. This is when the biggest, most emotional moments of many divorces occur, as petty people attempt to manipulate the other party by deliberately negotiating for control over things they don’t actually want, but know their spouse wants, so that they have leverage for other parts of the negotiation later. This is also where it’s the easiest to deliberately hurt your soon-to-be-ex. Getting through this phase unscathed is rare, but it doesn’t have to be horrible.

Then during the finalization phase, one side’s attorney draws up an agreement that disposes of the assets according to what the spouses have decided together, and the other double-checks it for accuracy. Alternately, if the spouses cannot come to an agreement, this is where the court steps in and divides the assets according to its wisdom instead.

Dealing with Children
There are three subphases to the children part of the divorce process as well. The first is determining custody, the second is determining visitation or parenting time schedules, and the third is finalizing the legal status of the children. The initial determination of custody is supposed to be performed by the parents, should they be able to choose an arrangement that they both find suitable. If the parents cannot come to a conclusion on custody, or the conclusion they come to is one the court finds to be against the best interests of the children, the court will determine custody.

The process for determining parenting time (if custody is joint) or visitation (ifole) is identical. Parents have the opportunity to do so for themselves, if they can’t or the court believes the child’s interests are being violated, they’ll step in and enforce their own schedule.

If the parents have come to their own conclusions on these items, one of their attorneys will write up the details in the form of a Parenting Plan, which the court will sign off on. If the court created the details itself, they will be recorded in a binding contract which the parents must sign.

The Final Paperwork
Once the first two items are complete, the court will record each, along with a final Decree of Divorce, and record all of it. Once that’s complete, you are divorced! While the details can get finicky and messy, and the emotional content of the divorce is almost always intimidating, it’s really nothing that you and a talented family attorney cannot handle. All you have to do is find one of us and get the ball rolling!