How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day After a Nasty Divorce
To someone who is recently divorced, broken up, or lost their spouse, Valentine’s Day can seem cruelly ironic. All conversation turns to romance, and every storefront is bedecked in roses, hearts, and lace. It’s like the world stops caring about you unless you’re part of a couple.
For those of us who have recently split up — doubly for those who were recently divorced — it’s like a cruel joke that robs a relatively new year of all of the promise that January brought with it. But it doesn’t have to: each of us has the power to take control of this day and make it meaningful for ourselves. Here’s a few ideas:
- Send yourself something. Have it delivered to your home or work. Flowers, candy, a heart-shaped pizza — whatever makes you feel special.
- Plan a lunch or dinner with someone, even if it’s your aunt or a co-worker. There’s no reason you shouldn’t take advantage of the specials that everyone has on just because your ex turned out to be nonpresent.
- If you’re going to stay home, do it in a special way. Make time to watch a movie that’s been on your list, and make that caramel corn you love so much.
- Kids at home? Make Valentine’s Day special by making it about them. There are hundreds of Valentine’s Day craft projects on the Internet waiting for you to check them out — pick a few and turn it into a fun afternoon all around.
But There Are Do-Nots As Well
On the other hand, there are some things you can do incredibly wrong on Valentine’s Day if you’re still recovering from a nasty divorce or other break-up.
- Do not go out on a date. There’s just too much pressure, and too many ways it can all go horribly wrong.
- Avoid places full of couples in full PDA. It’s one thing to go to a movie where it’s dark and your concentration is on the screen, or a restaurant where they’ll generally be eating rather than snogging — but definitely keep away from roller rinks, public parks, malls, and the like.
- Keep the sappy romcoms off your screen. There’s ‘movies you want to see’ and then there’s ‘beating yourself up by comparing yourself to a fictional ideal.’
- DO NOT get in touch with your ex. Any of them. There’s just nothing good that can come of it.
Divorce is a huge change in your life, and all changes come with sacrifices as well as opportunities. Don’t let Valentine’s day get you focused on what you’re losing — keep your eye on the freedom and transformative possibilities in front of you, and use this day to love yourself in a way you couldn’t when you were busy loving someone who didn’t return the favor.
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