How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce: 5 Essential Tips

Choosing to pursue a divorce is by no means an easy decision, but what may be perhaps even more difficult is telling your spouse you want a divorce. However, regardless of how you feel, if you believe a divorce is your only option, your spouse must be told in a manner that helps both of you make it through the process.

As you can probably realize, there is no real way to sugarcoat a divorce, but there are steps you can take that will assist in bringing about the most favorable results based on your circumstances.

1. Have Your Affairs in Order

Deciding to seek a divorce is one of the most impactful judgments you will ever make, as it will affect practically every aspect of your life and livelihood. Therefore, you should have your most important affairs tended to, or at the very least, tentatively planned out, including:

• Your living arrangements
• Your financial arrangements, including separate bank accounts
• Tentative child custody arrangements
• Insurance arrangements

Dealing with your affairs at length before approaching your spouse with the news of your decision shows that you mean business. It also gives you the momentum you need to take the next steps as efficiently as possible.

2. Be Ready to Talk

When it’s time to tell your spouse that you want a divorce, be ready to give them appropriate answers to the basic questions that most people would have in their situation.

Answers your spouse may be looking for include:

• Why?
• Is there someone else?
• What about the kids?
• What about the house?

Expect many personal questions as well, and know that your complete answers will go much further than short or entirely non-responsive replies.

3. Be Ready to Listen

Your spouse will want to be heard once you tell them your marriage is over. It may be difficult, but you should be prepared to hear and comprehend what they have to say in its entirety, if possible.

4. Plan for Enough Time to Talk

Just as you should be ready to listen, you want to ensure that you both have enough time to devote to speaking in this important conversation. Knowing your spouse’s schedule is key to choosing an appropriate time. If they only have five minutes on Friday afternoons, you wouldn’t choose to speak with them about something as serious as a divorce at that time.

5. Choose an Appropriate Time and Space

Regarding schedules, the timing of your announcement and subsequent conversation is important. Prefacing a big event in your spouse’s life with your desire to get a divorce can be met with intense frustration and resentment, and spoiling an otherwise joyous event with “I want a divorce” can also go over poorly, to say the very least.

In the end, no one can judge your situation better than you. When deciding when and where, keep the feelings you and your spouse will feel in mind, and contemplate your potential reactions. By considering these factors, you can develop a list of possible times and places to have a conversation.

It’s not easy telling someone that you want a divorce, but foresight and adequate planning can help get you through it.

Effective Planning for Divorce

Gucciardo Family Law can help you take the next step in this difficult journey. We care about your future and have the experience and resources to represent you faithfully. Contact our office today to speak with an experienced divorce lawyer.